Three Months Later

The past few months have been a whirlwind of activity. I graduated from college, watched two of my best friends walk down the aisle, took a road trip to Ohio, and played in a beach tournament in Galveston to name a few of the things that have occupied my time. Thankfully, the past few weeks of bumming around at home have been very relaxing. I'm going to miss the complete lack of responsibility when I begin working in August. Oh the downside, this break has also made me very lazy in just about everything else as well. It's also given me plenty of time to think. It's a little bit scary. Of my three best friends one is married, one is engaged, and the third is in a very serious relationship. I'm not ready for anything even close to that, and it's a little scary to see them moving ahead with their lives so quickly. I love seeing them so happy, but it's not where I imagined things would be right now.

Thinking about starting to work is also slightly frightening. And really, it's not the thought of working or paying bills that's scary as much as the possibility that I might stop wanting more and become complacent with just being "average" or "normal." There is so much that I want to do and see and learn and experience. I don't want my life to become a predictable routine. I want to spend every weekend doing something different- sailing, shooting, dancing, ultimate, music, camping, biking, hiking, traveling...Life is an adventure that is meant to be lived.

But then there are times that I remember that this life is not what really matters...what matters is eternity. And really, whether I do these things or not won't matter if I can't save my soul. And yes, that is a sobering thought. Basically, I wish I knew what I was supposed to do with my life.

Music

Growing up, and especially through high school, I always played music. The piano was almost a best friend. But then I got to college and I didn't have time to practice anymore. For the past three years the only time I've played on a regular basis has been some sight-reading duets with a friend who plays the clarinet. It's always fun, but last night has to have been one of my favorite nights ever. Everything just seemed to work. It might not have always been perfect, and I know I need to play through some of the pieces on my own, but for a little while we sounded pretty good. And yes, even now, twelve hours later I'm still happy about it. :)

Spring break

Spring break was pretty much awesome. My roommate and I took a cruise to Mexico, so it was basically five days or reading, relaxing, and generally doing absolutely nothing. No computers, no cell phones, no school, no worries. It was perfect. I'm pretty much in love with water, so waking up every morning to blue ocean waves as far as the eye could see was quite ok with me.

Our ship made two stops- one in Progresso and one in Cozumel. While the general itinerary while we were there was the same, the feel was completely different. Progresso is a small town of about 40,000 people and is still a relatively new port of call. Cozumel, on the other hand, is a huge tourist destination. I think we counted around seven other cruise ships while we were docked in port. Walking around was somewhat depressing. A two-story outdoor shopping area, lots of touristy hotels, a bar and scuba shop every twenty feet along the beach. Nothing seemed real, except for the massive numbers of scooters everywhere. I've decided I want one. Katelin and I tried to rent one to go see the Mayan ruins but were unsuccessful. So instead, we parked ourselves at one of the outdoor bar/restaurants. Katelin read as I snorkeled to my heart's content, and we both laughed at the poor fools who paid $25 for thirty minutes of snuba. Maybe if there'd been an impressive reef, but the location wasn't all that spectacular. I did see something really cool though- a big blue fish eating a small yellow fish. That was pretty sweet. I hadn't expected the fish to be so different from the ones I saw in the Pacific last semester.

Progresso was a completely different story. The entire town consisted of about two streets. We went shopping in the craft market, where I found a chess set for my mom. We then spent about ten minutes walking up one street and back down the next. There wasn't much aside from a few banks and internet cafes for tourists. The back side of the street, which was not for tourists, was probably the most real place I saw the entire trip. Walking into those small shops I spoke about as much Spanish as they spoke English- not much. It made me realize that poverty is still very real in Mexico, and it has increased my desire to learn to speak it fluently and to one day go back to Mexico. I'm glad we stopped in Progresso because otherwise I feel that my view of Mexico would have been very skewed. One of my favorite things there, which I dont think was Katelins, was walking through the food market. She thought it was gross, but quite frankly I thought it was cool. I mean, that's pretty much daily life there.

Why?

It's 12:30am on a Tuesday morning, and I'm sitting in my room icing my shins and trying to focus on a problem set. As you can tell it's not working. It's moments like this that I wonder why I do this to my body. I love playing ultimate, but sometimes it seems a bit crazy. This weekend was tough. We had another tournament in Baton Rouge- Mardi Gras. At first it looked like it would be an awesome opportunity for Miss Red to play together, but as the time drew nearer half of the players dropped and we were left scrambling for numbers and cars. Saturday was a rough day- cold and windy. Although everyone, and especially the rookies, played well I had to sit out most of the day because I'd finally been beaten by the cold that I'd been fighting off all week. Add to that a random leg injury during the second game and I was sidelined for the rest of the day. A good night's rest made Sunday a much better game for me, but we lost two more players to injuries and were once again savage. Fortunately, we still have a winning record for the season...something that makes me very happy.

We had an IM game today which was a ton of fun, but is also the reason I am sitting on the floor with a bag of ice. Don't get me wrong, I love playing with Miss Red, but coed will always have a special place in my heart. I've started thinking about what I'll do after college, and I'm leaning more towards playing with the coed team than trying to make the Texas women's team. We'll see what happens...

Relationships

Now that Valentine's Day is officially over I feel like I can validly comment on relationships. First of all, I have to say that I am not a huge fan of the exaggerated commercialization of the day. While I will admit that this might be a slight amount of bitterness on my part, I think the world would be a much better place if people were a tad bit nicer on normal days and down played Valentine's Day by just a bit.

And now about relationships. For several years I was involved with a guy who I thought I loved, and the thought of being single seemed like such a horrible idea. At some point I realized that being together was actually the horrible idea, and suddenly being single was a wonderful idea. I'll be honest- I've had a lot of fun and enjoyed my senior year of college much more that I thought I would. However, at the same point I've come to several unexpected realizations. Guys who used to be just friends are suddenly wanting to be more and it's really wierding me out. I never realized how much of a difference being "off-limits" made. And ya know what...I won't lie...its done worlds for my self-confidence. At the same time I know that it'll put a small kink in some of my friendships because I have absolutely no interest in dating some of them and I can't go back to the "ignorance is bliss" state of yesterday.

Meetings

One of my pet peeves is meetings that drag on for much longer than needed. I am a huge fan of directness. Say what needs to be said, and do what needs to be done. If you are in charge of running a meeting it is your responsibility to make sure that you have at least an informal agenda beforehand, and that you keep things moving once the meeting starts. While it is perfectly acceptable, and even necessary at times, to allow brainstorming and unplanned for discussions, they need to have some relevance. Remember, other people have most likely made plans for after the meeting.

Vegas baby!

I got back from Vegas about twelve hours ago, and am still in the process of recovering. No, I did not gamble. I was there for an ultimate tournament, and what a tournament! The first two days the weather was about as perfect as possible. We came out strong in our first games and were playing some of the best ultimate I've ever see Miss Red play. Good ultimate is so much fun to play. We went 3-0 our first day, the first time we've ever done that as a team. It was incredible and I am so excited about the rest of this semester. The second day also began well. We went 2-1 on Saturday, losing to UCLA-B by four points. Even that loss, though hard, was bearable. We were playing with nine girls. They had almost twenty, and we still managed to win the second half. That in itself was impressive. Our last game was pretty easy, and we won 13-1. Unfortunately, that was also a difficult game for me. I made quite a few bad decisions, and threw away numerous disks. Thankfully, I am just one person and the rest of the team played flawlessly. Sunday was tough because it was windy, and ultimate in the wind is just not as much fun as ultimate in beautiful weather. We lost our first and third games, and won the second one pretty much because we won the toss. There were no upwind points scored that game. I would really like to play the first team again...I think they would be an awesome and totally fun team to play in more normal weather conditions. The third game of the day, and the last of the tournament, was another heart-breaker. They won on an upwind point in hard cap, with my girl scoring the point on an upwind huck. I really should have had the D, but could not find the energy to challenge. Definitely motivation to continue conditioning.

Evenings were also a ton of fun. It was just the girls at the hotel so we got dressed up Friday and Saturday night and roamed around the strip looking pretty darn good! :) I know. I'm not really the girl who tends to get dressed up or put on makeup but occasionally it can be lots of fun. Besides, I really like doing the unexpected. We somehow managed to everyone to put on party clothes and look cute. I think some of them felt it was pointless because all we did was wonder around for a few hours, but the getting ready part was (in my opinion) the best part.

We got back to Houston at 7am this morning, just in time for me to write my paper and do my problem set before class. I haven't been very productive at all today, which probably means I should stop typing and start working.